A Dream I Had

she walked with me down a white hall,
really believing she could put her trust there -
in my ear
with my thoughts
and not suspect me of anything at all.

"you should be careful you know," I placed my hands behind my back as we walked.
... "oh?"
"did you not know you love him?"
...(she looked at her hands, twisted) "i  didn't know that."

I spun reason round her wrists
and tied her to a post.
"there's no way to really know a man like him,"


"you will collect all his words..."

(I circled like a grey carrion bird

taking massive strides to subdue her)
"he'll fill the space under your nails
with ideas
and meaning...
like you've scraped them from a god-damned block of truth.

But make no mistake, he'll never tell you how he feels.
and all you'll ever want
is to know
if he is your friend.

Doesn't that kind of secrecy
leave room for hope?
Hope is paralyzing.
Day after day you will start to believe you know him.
you will begin to guess at what he might like.
what you could talk about,
what you could see, and
what fun could be had between the two of you...
suddenly, he is a different animal entirely.
He has become more of a creation than anything else."

She slowed her pace.
I could feel the rhythm of her eyelids
take to a slow and sweaty creep.
She turned to me.
I told her, "He's only who he says he is."
"Nothing more."

Her eyes shifted in on themselves
and she was looking past me.
... behind me.
... close behind me.

I held my breath, feeling the air around me
my eyes closed and then i exhaled.
I waited for her to walk away before I spoke.
"You might of said something."

"I was busy," He laughed, "what was it you said?"
"She's just a kid, Tom.
 She didn't know you were dangerous."