a grey youth

 
i saw a film about people who have lost other people,
not like change in a sofa cushion,
but like when someone who is falling slips right through your fingertips - slow and strong-
until you are left looking at your hands,
not knowing what you used to keep there.

you think "my hands are empty now, like my heart"
only, when the next person dies, they seem to grow right out of your hands a slip away all over again.

 i remembered, then, how the old dead make way for the new dead.